♫

Recently I've been spending a lot of time working shooting at a bar, and a lot of time driving. These two activities have very little in common, however they both do involve listening to the same shitty pop songs over and over again (my new vans' predecessor was only kitted out with a broken tape deck, and a radio- so it was the radio or nothing). After hearing these songs over and over, you begin to take notice of the lyrics in a way that you wouldn't were you to just listen to them once or twice, and in doing so realize how piss poor some of them really are. Here are a few of my favorite shit lyrics:

"Me not working hard?

Yea right picture that with a kodak
And better yet, go to times square
Take a picture of me with a kodak
Took my life from a negative to positive
And I just want y'all know that"

Pitbull- Give me everything.

In this 'banger' Pitbull cleverly ryhmes Kodak with Kodak, and tenuously links one couplet to the next by using the vaugue theme of photographs, with a clever double meaning on the word 'negative'. Oh Pitbull what a wordsmith you are.

"Think the city towed my car
Chandelier is on the floor
With my favorite party dress
Warrants out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail"

Katie Perry- Last Friday Night.

Katie seemlysly slides from describing some quite serious issues, including admitting she'd commited an offense bad enough for a warrant for her arrest to be issued, to using a light hearted phrase usually found on the bottom mildly amusing photos of general mishaps, and then uploaded to facebook by people who don't have anything better to share with the world.

"Peebe, Peebe who's Peabo Bryson

Two years ago I renewed my license
Anyway why'd I start my verse like that
You can suck a dick, or you can suck on a ballsack
No no I don't endorse that, p-p-pause that, a-a-abort that"
Nicki Minaj (& David Guetta) - Where them girls at.

Certainly saving the worst till last, the entire song in which this absolutely dier verse slots into is indeed absolute tripe, with the chorus making no sense at all, however these three bars have to be a stand out. Its as if she wrote the first couplet, and despite the fact she realised it was shit, decided to put it in anyway. Possible nervous that we as the listener would have this very same realization, she segues straight into irrelevant and needless obscenity, before informing us that she doesn't actually endorse sucking on a phallus or indeed a 'ball sack' totally voiding the previous line where she suggests 'we' do just that.